This week I have had some really big spiritual Ah Ha! moments. The message the universe wanted to me to hear was the word connection.
I observed, with the help of my friend Lindsay from Peace with PDA, that many parallels were happening in separate friend groups. The feelings that were coming up for me were really unpleasant ones and I found myself feeling like I was at the center of something and I had to fix it all in order to stop feeling the negative emotions that were coming up and strangling me.
The more I fought and overthought the situations, the more they kept coming. Lindsay explained to me that this is called resistance and what we resist, persists. She wrote this piece on her blog http://peacewithpda.com/let-it-go-let-it-go/ and it really helped me to stop and let go of the need to fix things. Sure enough, when I tuned into my inner self, the one without thoughts that were getting in the way, and made a promise to listen and allow the source to show me why things were as they were, I felt a sense of peace and I felt my resistance slip free. Suddenly, in that moment a really delightful coincidence popped up, one of those oh wow, what are the chances things and I suddenly saw that the answer to my quandaries was to be a connector, not a fixer. That it wasn’t my responsibility to fix the problems of others, but to be an instrument in joining people that belonged together, and the rest would fall into place. It was so obvious when the penny finally dropped that I had to laugh at how plain the signs were. The ‘coincidence’ that I mentioned was not a coincidence at all, for it was with Anne Rhodes. Her website http://www.pdaanz.com/ is set up to connect the dots with professionals in Australia and New Zealand. Anne and I already share many connections but we suddenly had a really delightful high five moment this week when we figured out a connection which could potentially really help her awareness campaign. It was this news and Lindsay’s guidance that helped me to connect all my strange happenings and the light bulb finally went on. Thank you my two good friends.
So, a lot (but not all) of the quandaries I was feeling were PDA parent related and so I knew what I had to do. This week I created a closed Facebook group of my own to connect the PDA parents of Christchurch. We are just a tiny 7 at the moment, but in knowing that our 7 have already got a network of others that are only a car ride away, felt so rewarding and good to me. You see, when we first received out PDA diagnosis, I had no one. No one at all that knew about PDA. I never felt so alone in my entire life. If I can put some things in place for that to not be the case for anyone else, then that’s my job done. My blog has served to be that voice of comfort, and will continue to be so. But I can now look forward to knowing that I am able to connect other versions of me (lost parents of PDA) in the flesh. I’m really quite excited about that and those unpleasant feelings and emotions I was telling you about earlier, well, those have changed to good ones now.
It felt so good to know that by connecting others, I was helping in a bigger way than one to one connections. This is what is so special about the world wide PDA connection. There are thousands of voices now joining, with thanks to Graeme Storey (who is the biggest connector of them all) as one and this is the best thing we can do to help ourselves and our kids. Voices together are stronger than voices alone and it is through these channels that we can start to be heard and not ignored or judged. So, on writing about this today, I wanted to just put that thought out there, if you feel you can be a connector, or you are having a hard time and you are in resistance, then take a think about what you can do to get through the unwanted emotions and into the ones that can serve for a greater good. In doing so, you will indeed feel the peace you seek. I had resisted because I felt that in order to step up, I would have to be a leader or a fixer and this was causing me to have anxiety. The anxiety was a sign that I wasn’t thinking as I should be. Lindsay helped me to let go and by doing so, the right answers came and my feeling good, was a message that I had done the right thing. Cool eh.
It can be so frustrating, lonely, exhausting, frightening even, to find yourself in a hidden world that others do not see or understand. But we are not alone and those feelings can be changed by connecting with others that are going through the same things. Half the supports and therapies we seek on the outside and in the systems that are failing us, can be found among friends and believers in PDA. Group hug. 🙂