I feel really strongly about Motherhood and where we are at in today’s society with regard to Women’s roles and voices. For some time I have been wanting to write about this topic and share my views. When I run through my thoughts and what I want to say, I am stopped by another voice that says, wait, you might offend people here.
Without any intention of offending, I am going to write what I think regarding women and motherhood.
I have been a conscious, self chosen, stay at home Mum for 15 years. My move to New Zealand meant that I was able to have a larger home, with a smaller mortgage and low overheads. This meant that as a family we have been able to live on one wage and this in turn has allowed me to be the Mum who drops her children to school every day. The Mum who cooks her kids healthy meals from scratch every day. The Mum who has played with her kids every day in the school holidays. The Mum who has been at every school event, the Mum who is able to be fully present with her kids. The Mum I wanted to be. My kids are my best friends and I love their company so much.
I have friends who think stay at home Mum’s are undervalued, slave’s to family, in need of a career, or pretty sad. I have ones who wish they could do what I do, if only they could afford to. I have friends who think that being a working Mum, filling every hour out of work or school with extra activities and never having enough time, is just how life is and should be. I have friends who think that women should be equal to men and do the same jobs. That all life duties must be equally shared.
In time, the human race may well become one single sex. We are seeing a rise in transgender people and evolution is anyone’s guess as to where we will head as a race. I have no issue with this and am very interested in this topic, but for now, the world is, for the most, made up of 2 genders, male and female and that’s what I’m talking about today.
I think that women and men are are different, and have different qualities and abilities. I don’t see equality as being the same, I see it as being equal but different. I think that for too long women have been trying to be like men and trying to make men more like women and in the process of this great shift of awareness, they have forgotten how powerful they really are, just as they are, as women. Instead of running ragged trying to fit into all boxes, they have stretched themselves too thin. I think that while doing such a great job of rising up from the places they did not want to be, they have forgotten one really big gift. Motherhood.
Please don’t shoot me down in flames. I’m not saying don’t work, I’m not saying throw away all that women have achieved in the past 60 years. I’m not saying we all want to be in the kitchen all day (though I personally love it) I am saying that the nurturing of children, the unconditional love, the grounding and the basis for a loving and loved society, has been side stepped while the women get busy showing everyone how amazing they are and as such we have a whole lot of people who do not love themselves as they should. And that breeds the people who we turn to for help, who in turn, don’t know how to really care.
Babies are taken away from their mothers from a really young age in the Western world in which we live. It was fashionable not that long ago, to not breast feed your baby, to not co sleep. To leave the child when they cried and to get back to work at 6 months or earlier. With the exception of breastfeeding, these unspoken rules are the general go. Young couples have big mortgagees and all the nice new things they ‘need’ to set up their homes. Approval is gained from following the above set patterns and not many start with a tiny pad with second hand furniture and climb their way up the ladder anymore. Consumerism brainwashing has seen to that and governments back it every step of the way. The more mothers out to work, the more money. The more young couples think they need everything like the latest reality show, the more money the government grows. The more kids in day care, the less social diversity. The more we have to fill our time, the less we have to be emotionally present for our kids. The busier we are telling kids what they can and can’t do, the less we hear of the lessons they have to teach us. The more we program and mould our children, the further way from our true authentic gifts and purpose we travel. I see a sinister disconnection from the things that really matter in life and I see women loosing the biggest power they really have. The key to all that we need and must be. Motherhood and love.
Men set the rules for how we bring up kids way way back. Did you realize that? Men set the rules and the punishments and women got caught up in believing this was the only way.
If you stripped back all the values, rules, musts and must not’s and left a women completely on her own, with no judgment or expectations, she would cuddle that child to her breast and never let them go. She would ensure confidence and love and cherish that child not matter what. She would wipe their tears and hear their worries. She would fall asleep with them in her arms and help the up when they fell. Se would teach them to love themselves because she loves herself and she was loved. Her child’s cry would wound her and she would protect them above and over herself or anyone that stood in her way.
We still do these things, they are our inherent, most basic, natural instincts. We must never let these instincts go. We have been watered down and we need to stand up and remember how powerful we are. If we have lost those qualities as individuals, it is never too late to find them again.
Let us not be distracted from our most precious job of all. Let us not be bullied into thinking we do not know our child or ourselves best. Let us not pour water on our internal flames and the inner gift of intuition and unconditional love.. For we are the mothers of the future. The mothers of the future teachers, the future Doctors, the future generation. What we dislike in those now, we must replace with love in our children now. Motherhood. The most important job in the world.
I believe it is our children who guide us to be the best people we can be. That they are born perfect and we are the damaged ones. PDA has shown me the mirror to myself and the things I needed to heal and address about myself. My children are my teachers. So I guess my overall message that I hope I have conveyed today is, embrace yourself as a mother and your child as your teacher. When we set the foundations for love from love, we make the world a better place. xx